4.12.2011

Self Conscious for Baby

Emma is too little to know, think, or care about what others think of her. So, as her mother, I take on that role. The few weeks after Emma was born and we were out in public, I used to relish in the comments from strangers, "oh, look at the baby... she's so little... ". A few months later, these comments start to get old. I remember when Emma was four, five, even six months old and people thinking she's a newborn. It was cute
 at first, but then I would start  to think to myself "they probably think she's only a month old". This doesn't sound like a big deal, but the thoughts after leaving the store (or wherever we were) and being reminded about how small she is and how she should be much bigger is enough to make me teary eyed.

The worst is when I see pictures of other babies Emma's age and see how they can sit up on their own, head upright and strong. Emma is getting there, but not yet. Her head is slowly gaining strength.

Emma doesn't know she's not on the growth chart. Maybe I shouldn't think about it so much either, but I can't help but feel bad that she can't do things yet that her peers are doing. When I start to think these thoughts, I need to remind myself of the progress she is making. I need to stop looking at pictures of other babies her age. I've already stopped looking at all those charts saying what your X month old should be able to do. I know what they should be able to do, since I've already gone through this with her big sister. She has her own chart, maybe she's going to just be stubborn like that.

1 comment:

  1. Ahhh, Jenny, I wish it was easier for you, really I do, but it is hard, and at some point you just become immune to the comments, but t is always there, and always hard. I too have a hard little guy, he was tiny at adoption, and has Cerebral Palsy, so I know how hard it is to have a healthy child, and another who should be fine, but isn't, and there is nothing you can do about it!! check out my blog if you are looking for inspiration, or ideas on therapies, as I am also a nanny for a little guy who is quite handicapped, and struggles for most everything. we are at afamilieslove.wordpress.com

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